Saturday, December 31, 2011

....A....Day....

Dear Mom,

What a day! It started fine. I got up, took Bella out, got clothes out on the curb for Hartsprings, got back in bed for a little bit, then we got up and had breakfast. Just as we were finishing up, the homemaker/companion came. I was just about to wash the dishes, but she offered to do it, which was nice. You ended up going into your room somehow, so when she was done, I ended up getting stuck listening to her talk for just about 2 hours straight! This is only her third day here, and she is very nice, but all she has seemed to do each time is talk...lots!! You kept looking in the kitchen from your room and waving at me. I think you were trying to get me to tell her to leave. You even came in at one point and said, "OK, come on, Stacey, we need to go." Then you winked at me. I asked you where we were going to go, you said you didn't know, but we always went somewhere. The only thing is we couldn't just leave, she was here for you! That's when I started to struggle. I was dying in the kitchen, trying to hold Bella as she kept squirming trying to get to the homemaker, or at least just keep her eyes on her. She was whimpering and panting and constantly moving, and the homemaker was just constantly talking, and then you were in your room waving and looking into the kitchen. I was pretty much ready to scream. I tried to tell you to come in the kitchen, but you wouldn't, but you were still getting impatient. Then there was a little reprieve when there was a knock at the door. When I went to answer it, it was one of your old friend, Bea, who came to see you. I wasn't sure if you would remember her. I told you to come into the kitchen because a friend was here to see you. You came in and I asked if you remembered her, your eyes brightened and you said you did. You gave her and her sister or friend...not quite sure, a hug. Then you invited them to come sit in the living room. She asked if you remembered her sisters, again you said you did, and she told you they were out in the car. You told her to have them come in. She went to get them and they came in. You again hugged and were happy to see them. They asked you questions about some of the things you all used to do or where you used to work, but you told them you didn't remember. They didn't stay for long, Bella was going a little nuts trying to see all of them. She was so excited, she doesn't get much company, so she didn't know which direction to even go. It was almost just a tad funny. They left and I ended up sitting back in the kitchen listening to more of whatever this girl was talking about. I kept watching the clock because I knew she should be leaving soon. Finally she did get up to call and check out. So I took Bella outside so she wouldn't go too crazy when she left. She ended up coming to try to say goodbye to Bella, which made her of course get hyper again. When she left, you asked me where we were going to go. I had no plan to go anywhere, but if you want to go out, I try to take you. There are only 3 days left of my break to take you out. So, I planned to just go get some stockings from one of my favorite stores. So we got ready to go. I got Bella's treat ready for her and gave it to her so we could leave. As she was enjoying her treat, you started complaining that we weren't taking her. I told you she can't always come with us. I wasn't even really planning on going anywhere, she would be fine for a few minutes. But you started getting a little bothered, so it got me bothered. I decided there was no reason to go anywhere if you were just going to sit in the car, but you seemed to get a little sulky. So I grabbed Bella up away from her treat and started to head out to the car. I think that made you happy. We got in the car, Bella got on your lap and we went to the store. You and Bella stayed in the car of course and I went in. And wouldn't you know they were having a 60% off sale. So I took a little longer than originally planned, but I also just needed to have a moment to myself to calm myself. I got my things, came out, and poor Bella just seemed ready to get out of the car. We got back home and I went downstairs to let off a little steam by playing the Wii. After a little while mom came down too. After playing the Wii, we watched some TV. Things seemed to calm down in my mind finally and the rest of the day went by well. I don't like getting so bothered, I feel so guilty because I know you can't help it. So, I'm sorry. I have been praying about it, and I'm working on it. So thankful the Lord knows, and understands and will help me. I do love you so!

2 comments:

  1. Oh how I sympathize with you on the talkative care taker.....we've had several like that and they drive me crazy.

    Don't ever beat yourself up for losing patience with your mom. You're human, and it's so hard to always have patience with a person with dementia. You're a very good daughter.
    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Dolores, so glad you can understand where I'm coming from with the caregiver!! Glad I'm not the only one.
    And thanks so much for your kind words about me losing my patience, I felt so awful, but it is definitely hard to have the right kind of patience all the time. Thanks for your encouragement! I hope you have a Happy New Year, too! You'll continually be in my thoughts and prayers!

    ReplyDelete