More Moments with Mom

Dear Mom,

I was worried about you this past weekend.  You weren't very interactive at all, not really talking, not smiling, not eating much, not even drinking much.  I kept watching you as you slept to make sure your chest was rising and falling.  You may not have been yourself, and I was a bit nervous, but a new week brought about new changes.  You still didn't eat yesterday, but you did drink the smoothie I made for you.  You were more interactive.  That made me happy!  It was a crazy day, I had planned to go out at noon, I was originally hoping to have lunch with a friend, but that didn't end up happening.  But the homemaker/companion was coming at noon and staying until 6.  That was going to be a nice amount of time to get out and do a few things.  Well, as I mentioned before, things don't always work out as planned.  The aide was supposed to come about 9:30 so she didn't cut into the time the companion would be there.  The occupational therapist came about 9:30 for her last visit, I had to thank her for helping me and giving such good advice!  She was a wonderful help.  I waited for the aide and she didn't come.  I hadn't heard from the nurse yet either as to when she was going to come.  It was almost noon and still no aide.  Then a couple of minutes before noon she came!  Yikes!  Not long after that, the companion came...oh well, I tried.  The aide got you washed up and asked if I wanted to get you up, but since I wasn't going to be home, I told her no.  She ended up in the kitchen with the companion and myself talking while we waited for me to be able to leave.  The nurse finally called and said she would be coming about 1.  So much for getting out at 12.  The nurse came and I asked her about a few things, a wonderful friend from church let me know to ask for things from hospice because they can get lots of things for us.  That was a huge help to be able to know that!  I asked her about your eating...or not eating and she said to remember that you aren't getting up or moving much so you aren't going to eat as much.  She said to give you some Miralax because you were saying your stomach hurt a little, and that would help.  She left, then the aide left, and I gave the companion a heads up about the rest of her time with you.  She was wonderful!  I really liked her.  I love this Angel Touch company, they have amazing companions!!  My mind was definitely at ease as I left.  I know this is going to sound a little vain, but I went to get my nails done.  But it had been a while and they were coming off, and when I would change you, they would bend and hurt, so it was very needed.  After that I went to go get the oil changed in my car.  Once I did those couple of things, I didn't have time to head to Target as I had hoped, it was already a little after 5.  There were a couple of things that I did definitely need to get so went and got them quickly before heading back home.  I got back a little early, but you were great and Bella was content and she was just hanging out with you.  You did have some smoothie that day which was good.  Today you had some smoothie, then the aide came, washed you, and we got you up.  She tried to have you finish the rest of the smoothie, but she kept after you, telling you to swallow.  You wouldn't, you kept holding it in your mouth like you have been doing.  But she kept trying to give you more.  She would put the cup up to your mouth to make you take more, and then got a spoon to try to get more in your mouth.  Next thing we knew it was dribbling out of your mouth and down your shirt.  She wasn't happy about that, but I wasn't happy that she tried to keep giving you more, that's why you started letting it dribble.  I have to learn to speak up on your behalf!  Not long after the aide left you wanted to go back to bed, so I got you back in.  For dinner I was able to give you about 8-10 bites of pancake!!  I was so excited, that was the first food that you had eaten in a few days.  You also had more smoothie.  That blessed my heart!
On Monday, when I was leaving I was teasing you about being good and not causing any trouble or something, and you looked at me and at the companion and said, "Yea, right."  You smiled at me, and told me you loved me and waved.  I love those moments!  Tonight after I fed you, I asked you if you loved me, and you shook your head yes, then I asked how much.  You put your fingers together with a little space between them, and I acted shocked and told you that I loved you with outstretched arms, but you still would only give me a little opening of the fingers, I had to laugh.  You were so cute!  I love these small interactive moments with you.  A couple of times you took my hand and we just held each other's hands.  So, what a blessing this new week has brought to my heart.  Such a treasure!  Love you so very much!!!!