Sadness

Dear Mom,

I am sitting here tonight feeling such sadness!  There has been so much that has happened.  And you're not here to share it with.  I know the past couple of years I wasn't really able to share a whole lot with you, but I still would.  It's just what I did...what I needed to do, share with you, my best friend, like I normally did.  That's part of the reason for this blog, so I could still talk to you and share with you.  Aside from really missing you this season, as I have been decorating the house for Christmas, there have been some truly sad things that have happened this past week or so.
Last Friday started off as a normal day of school, but things quickly changed after lunch.  As I was on my way outside to recess with the kids, the school secretary sadly shared with me a text message alert she got from our local CBS news station that there was a school shooting here in Connecticut, and not only that, but the worst part was that it was in an Elementary School!  That's where our hearts were really breaking!  At first all of the information was a little sketchy, I had a text alert that only 1 person was dead, then when we got back inside after recess the number jumped into the double digits and we heard that the number was 27. My heart was breaking!!!  I had to keep teaching, and I didn't want my kids to know anything until they got home with their parents.  Once I got home, the TV was bombarded with coverage.  There were so many images....parents waiting to find out about their children, parents finding their children and holding on for dear life, kids crying and so scared, parents being told to wait at the firehouse because their children weren't with the ones that made it out, parents finding out their kids were casualties.  The tears just continued to flow, how could they not, especially finding out later that 20 children had been killed and 6 adults... teachers, the principal, and the school psychologist.  This young 20something year old used one of three guns to blast the door to get into the school.  The principal and psychologist ran toward him to try to stop him and he shot them.  Then he went into a couple of classrooms and started shooting teachers and kids.  These teachers were hiding their kids in closets and cabinets.  One teacher hid her students and told the shooter her kids were in the gym, he shot her right there.   Another teacher was found on top of her students, trying to shield them from the gunman.  After killing so many children and school workers, he heard the police car sirens and took his own life.  It was found out that earlier that day he had also killed his mother.  All week long has been spent hearing about who these precious children were, and the heroes at the school that did their best to protect them.  All week long there has been news of the funerals of the victims.  The last one will be tomorrow, and she is actually the cousin of one of my friends.  The funeral will be at First Cathedral, and guess what mom??  She loved purple, too!  They asked all of those attending her funeral to try to wear something purple and sparkly.  I am just going to do that anyway to honor her.  I know you would have been just as devastated by this news as I am, but I imagine you loved having all of those little angels burst through heaven's gates and are enjoying taking care of them like the sweet nurturer that you are!
The other sad news was about a dear friend of mine who passed away early Thursday morning.  She was only about 28 or 29 and had only been married for two years.  She had pulmonary fibrosis.  Her husband set up a donor page in honor of his wife here.  She had been in the hospital for a few weeks, and her health was up and down the whole time.  They were trying to move her to a different hospital, and when they did, her right lung collapsed so they couldn't move her.  They were going to wait until she was stronger, but she never did.  Instead she was healed completely, as the Lord desired.  We were just praying for her Wednesday night in church, then I woke up to hear that she had passed.  I didn't think I had anymore tears left, but they surely had no problem flowing that morning!  There were other issues that day, too, that I struggled with.  And I sadly didn't have you to share them with, or ask advice about them.  It made me miss you and pappy even more.  So I cried for you and pappy, for these children and teachers and their families, for my friend Erin and her family.  I really had to seek the Lord for peace, and thankfully He was gracious to allow me to find some peace in Him...but still struggled.
I even decided today to make the trip to Newtown so I could be there to show my support and love, and I wanted to drop off a teddy bear.  I just needed to do something.  It was amazing to see so many special tributes for all the victims.  I will share some pictures later.  Through all of the sadness, as usual, there has been some good.  Anne Curry gave a suggestion for people to try to do 26 acts of kindness to honor the 26 victims.  There have been some great stories of people doing some very kind things for each other.  It is so special to see, but how sad it took something like this for most of us to even think about that.  I'm in the same boat.  I have been trying to think of things I can do to show some acts of kindness.  I pray that the Lord will help me be a blessing to others!  Give those angels lots of love!  I miss you, and I love you!