Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Quick note

Dear Mom,

I'm going to try to write just a quick note tonight. It's almost midnight and we have to get up early tomorrow! We are going to a taping of Better Connecticut!! I am so excited about it! I hope that you will feel up to it. It's been rainy and you were really hurting today. I haven't told you yet, I know you won't remember anyway. So tomorrow morning I'm just going to tell you that we have somewhere to be by 9:30 and go over to Rocky Hill. I think you will be just as excited as I am once we get there and you see where we are.

You were really off today. You got up and I told you I would be out for breakfast in about 15 minutes. I tried to go back to sleep, but Bella kept barking. So I just decided to get up, and you were already sitting at the table eating breakfast. You were just so ready to take your medicine because you were hurting. I gave you the other half of the egg sandwich you didn't finish yesterday and the other half of the orange from two days ago. After breakfast I went to try to lay back down, but you called me, as if you really needed something. You have gotten into this habit of calling me and then not answering when I say yes and ask what you want. You want me to come to you, so I have to get out of bed and leave my room and go to your door. Today you just said, I don't know what today is. So, I told you. Then you asked the every day question, "Do I have church?" You wanted to know what time it was, and then were glad it wasn't this morning. I decided to just get up and go downstairs to do a little exercise on my Wii. Then I was just going to take a nap downstairs, that was probably the only place I would be able to. After a little while you came down too, so I knew that nap wouldn't be coming right away or at least that it wouldn't be in the comfy recliner as I was hoping. That's where I let you sit when you come down. We watched TV and talked a little bit, not talk talk, but mostly commenting on something on TV or you asking me the same questions. Then you out of the blue asked me what church I went to. I was surprised that you didn't know. I told you Emmanuel. Then you shocked me even more by saying, "I don't even know what church I go to." I told you to try to remember and you tried, but I had to tell you Grace. Then you said, "Oh right, Grace Baptist Church, see I remember." That was really sad for me. I guess I never thought you would forget that already. We were watching the Food Network, which you used to watch all the time, now it's just the Hallmark Channel mainly. But Barefoot Contessa came on and you didn't remember who she was. Then after her Rachel Ray was coming on and you always loved Rachel Ray, but you had to ask me who that was. I guess I'm really just hating the thought, and the FACT that you really aren't getting better, you're not even slowing on your memory loss. It seems to be getting worse. I keep praying that it won't get too bad too soon. Not sure what to try to prepare for and what to do about next school year. There are already going to be weird changes for me, but do I need to consider making changes in your care too? I just really miss you right now. I miss my immediate family. I miss having someone to talk to at home. But I love you and am going to try to keep you active and doing fun things as much as possible. Tomorrow should prayerfully be fun for us. Hope you enjoy it! Love you!

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