Saturday, April 30, 2011

Missing you...

Dear Mom,

I miss you! I know you are still here with me, but it's not the you that I know. Of course it's the you that I love because I will always love you, no matter what. I just miss the one that I would talk to, who would understand and be able to share things back with me. I miss the woman that I would go to the mall and walk around for hours with. I miss the woman that would bake and cook and keep things in order. I miss the woman that would go with me to whatever crazy endeavor I chose that day, and would enjoy it. I miss you!

It was nice getting up early yesterday (I was up at 4, but woke you up about 5), and watching the Royal Wedding together, just as we did 30 years ago for Charles and Diana. It was neat having that time together doing something "normal" and enjoying it together before I went off to school. I think you even sort of remembered some of it when I got back home. Then today, you kept thinking we were going to get our nails done, but I told you we already did last week. You liked the color then stopped liking the color and painted over it badly, but I just can't go back and pay more just one week after we got them done. You just got back in bed, though after breakfast and I wanted to as well, but then thought you needed to get out at least a little on this beautiful day. Some Channel 3 anchors were at L.L. Bean at Evergreen Walk. I knew we could do that and it wouldn't take long, and you could get back home to Bella soon. We went over and got autographed pictures and talked to them some. Then they asked us to go over to the camera and tell what we liked about Channel 3. You didn't want to get on camera, but when the guy started asking me questions to answer, you kept adding your little thoughts. After I looked around L.L. Bean a little bit, but you just wanted to sit and wait for me, so you did. Then there were a couple other places I wanted to look in, so I went and you just wanted to stay in the car. I miss those times when you would come with me and share those experiences together, but at least I got you out. That made me feel better. You even came downstairs a little bit ago, but the movie Tangled was a little scary you said so you just went back up to get on your bed and put on the Hallmark Channel. So, yes, I miss you, but I am thankful you are still here with me physically even though mentally you are not quite here. I love you and look forward to many more memories, even on a different scale. Love you!

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